Legalize murder now!

There has been a lot of talk lately about abortion. The laws in the US have changed again recently, and arguments have erupted in Quebec as well, with people coming down strongly on both sides of the issue. I saw a pro-choice protest at the Palais de Justice where a parade of women went topless to make their point, and I thought, finally an issue I can get behind.

But personally, I don’t think abortion should be legal. See what people are going to turn into first. What happens if you accidentally abort the next Picasso?

I do, however, believe we should legalize murder after the onset of adulthood.

Staying alive requires a license renewed yearly to remain not-murdered. Everyone has to show up at some government office and take a number that also has letters on it for some reason and wait in two different line ups and eventually have their photo taken to prove somehow that they are not an absolute piece of shit. Just showing up clean and clothed counts for, like, 80 percent.

All politicians are required to be murdered after they serve their elected terms. Celebrities have to be disposed of after, say, seven years of stardom. Each and every Kardashian spawn needs to renew their special licenses every six months.  

We get to choose how to die, though. That’s the upside. Most people nowadays are going with the shot-to-the-head, have-a-nice-sleep special, although the struck-by-a-falling-grand-piano is also very popular. We could call society’s enforcers, oh I don’t know, Karma Police, or something similar.