My Education

Dreams and Other Inscrutables

September 22nd 2015. I am traveling with a young blonde girl who is tied up. Her hands are bound behind her back with white rope and a piece of a white wooden chair. She is happy so I am happy too. We travel together without a hint of doubt in one another.

September 23rd 2015. I am walking along a dirty street with buildings on the right. Old European looking. Dirty as all hell. Poor. I see children’s toys in the dirt. Dirty windows through which I see dirty toys.

We are staying in a big house in the country. There is a girl there that I fancy and I want to take her for a drive. I’ve rented a car for the occasion, but I cannot build up the nerve to ask her. I walk away defeated without even having tried.

September 25th 2015. I am sleeping over at a girl’s house. She is very beautiful. Her parents like me. Her father and brother are telepaths and shapeshifters, but extremely nice. Her father teaches me how to read minds by dilating my pupils. He has almost white eyes with a tiny pinpoint of black in the centre. The brother becomes younger or older depending on the necessity of the situation.

I am dancing with the girl in a big empty room. We are waltzing and feeling ecstatic, talking and laughing as if we’d been together forever. I am deeply in love with this woman. I try to kiss her as we are dancing but there is some kind of a wooden grate in front of her face.

My mom is eventually coming to pick me up and I am not thrilled about going home. I tell the girl’s father this while reclining on a brown lazyboy style chair: “I am the opposite of homesick,” I say. I have been staying with these people long enough to accumulate belongings — books &c. My room has a mattress and items piled up in a sort of wedge shape.

The girl’s father is taking some kind of painkillers — they look like Tylenol 3s. I take two and realize that I should try to get some sleep. I am worried that my family is not going to approve of these people.

October 10th 2015. I am walking along a path with a ginger cat. I see other people coming towards us with other cats and other animals. I think,“that’s not my cat so if it gets in a fight, it’s not my problem.”

October 24th 2015. I am walking along the water in the dream city that I know. It is beautiful there. The beach is littered with military personnel, like a Latin American junta. Is there going to be a revolution?

I am at home when the meat delivery guy comes. If there is no answer when he rings the doorbell, he plays a song before leaving. We wait with the door closed just to listen to him play his song, then open the door and apologize. We are making burgers in a steam machine. The machine is similar to an old popcorn air popper, but without a lid. Within a few seconds, a fully formed hamburger arises out of the steam.

November 9th 2015. We are flying somewhere. I hope that the black box remains intact to find out what happens to us.

November 14th 2015. I am masturbating. Suddenly I realize I am in a window and people across the way at a Tim Hortons can see me.

November 15th 2015. A woman is sleeping over. I am in a basement. She has brought some cocaine, which I initially disapprove of and then partake in. She hasn’t brought very much but it will last for a few days. I am taking a shower in a dirty bathroom.

November 24th 2015. Suits are being made and debated that will limit the mobility of refugees. Refugee bondage suits. Adele’s “Hello” plays incessantly.

December 3rd 2015. I am living in a loft with a pitched roof and very high ceilings. There is only one exposure but it is floor-to-ceiling windows. I open up the drapes and think, “I never enjoy the view in this place.” Light streams into the apartment and I realize that I am quite lucky to live here.

December 14th 2015. I am saying goodbye to my girlfriend. I have to go pick up a book in St. Henri, which is very far from where I am. I kiss her goodbye and say I’ll be home soon. I say, “I can’t believe I have to go out to St. Henri to pick up this book,” and she says “I know, it’s like another neighbourhood where I have my basketball practice.” I look at her and think how much I love her – I am trying to send her my love through a look, but she doesn’t see it. I get on my bike and start pedaling but it is very difficult, like an old bike with only one gear. I wonder why I promised that I’d go pick up this stupid book, and contemplate whether I need it or not. Maybe I could just let it go. I am pedaling and pedaling, then I switch paths and it becomes slightly easier. I make it up to a new plateau and the path turns into water. I cannot tell where the path is and what is under water. I just keep going, hoping that I don’t sink.

December 22nd 2015. I am staying in the dream city that I know, in a grand house on a hill. It is white Spanish stucco with a tall driveway and gates. It belonged to an old Hollywood starlet. I meet a man on my way up and he asks me where I’m staying. I point out the house to him and he is impressed, saying, “hardly any of these houses have a star-crossed staircase like that one.”

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